Massive Reductions
The 2005 Kinks Tournament is underway, and UK correspondant James Baumann was on site for the note for note action.

watershedcentral.com's KINKS DRAFT 2005
round one kommentary by James Baumann

The first round of the Watershed Central 2005 Kinks Tournament kicked off this week with a number of heated contests. The games were played despite protests that highly deserving players such as "Oklahoma U.S.A.," "Village Green Preservation Society," "Skin and Bone," "King Kong," and "Here Come The People In Grey" were left off the rosters.

An unnamed source close to the story was quoted as saying, "Sure, these teams are good. But how are going to stand up to the increasing level of competition if we don't send all of our best players? Look at what happened to the USA Olympic Basketball team. If they put "Oklahoma U.S.A." out there to run point guard you think they come home with just a bronze?"

To the scores:

Photo Album defeats 12 Reasons
12 Reasons entered the game with a swagger and considering they had a dominant big man in "Days" to fill up the lane and a great performer off the bench in "Celluloid Heroes" it was well deserved. However, even with a solid game from "Rock and Roll Fantasy" and "Apeman," Photo Album upended the team. They simply weren't able to find a way to defend the slashing cuts of "Muswell Hillbilly" and long-range bombs from "She's Bought A Hat Like Princess Marina," "David Watts," and "Two Sisters." "Do You Remember Walter," perhaps spurred on by a new year wave of nostalgia also turned in a strong game.

Humorous Take defeats All My Best (default)
Entering this contest, All My Best had enjoyed a 30-plus year winning percentage that hasn't been matched by any team other than the Harlem Globetrotters. Humorous Take performed well as newer players ("Come Dancing," "Do It Again") worked well with seasoned veterans ("Stop Your Sobbing," "You Really Got Me"). The score was tied with only a few ticks of the clock left when league officials stepped in and declared the entire All My Best roster ineligible for not attending classes and/or actually appearing on Kinks albums.

Corner of Loneliness defeats Professional Hazards
The injury-riddled Professional Hazards were never able to mount much of an effort in this first-round loss, despite an admirable effort by "Top of the Pops," and "Starstruck." Everyone got into the scoring column for the victors with "Til the End of the Day," "Big Sky," "Pressure" and more leading the way. It was topped by a Jordan-esque game by "20th Century Man" who went unchecked through this opposition.

Kraptakular defeats Let the Brother Have Some
For the Kraptakular squad, "Around the Dial," "Victoria," and the venerable veteran "Lola" all piled up big numbers alongside a solid effort by their side players. Meanwhile, the Brothers wandered around seemingly not understanding the premise of the contest.

People We Know defeats Kill Yourself
The Kill Yourself 12 started the game strong with big hits from "Misfits" "Don't Forget To Dance," and "Clichés of the World" as well as "Catch Me Now..." However, the squad's youth was not able to stand up to the steady play of "Alcohol," "Tin Soldier Man," "The Moneygoround," and "Arthur," not to mention big games from "Susannah's Still Alive" and "Johnny Thunder" who worked the pick-and-roll to perfection throughout the contest.

Kut And Paste defeats Scrapheap
"Last of the Steam Powered Trains" and "Brainwashed" both tallied career highs in this game, but it wasn't enough as the Kut and Pasters sent wave after wave of scorers at them. "Father Christmas" (despite only playing 1/12 of the game) was a powerhouse. The bucket was also readily filled by "Who'll be the Next In Line," Prince of the Punks," "Living On A Thin Line," and "Sleepwalker." The game was put out of reach after a demoralizing slam-dunk from "Death of A Clown" over the opposition.

Very Best of Choruses defeats Try, Try Again
Sending a message to the rest of the field, the Very Best of Choruses (sponsored by HP, which explains management's ability to pay for the big stars) dismantled their opponent. The start of the game was delayed for 15 minutes as a ceremony was held to honor The Best's "Waterloo Sunset" for lifetime achievement. The song then went out and turned in a quadruple-double. Big totals also came from "Better Things," "Autumn Almanac," "The Hard Way" and "This Is Where I Belong," "Have A Cuppa Tea," "Supersonic Rocket Ship," and "Get Back In Line," scored for the losers. "See My Friends" was on its way to a good game before having to leave at the half, injured.

Weather defeats Bruce Banner
In a sloppily played game, A Change In the Weather pulled out a victory as a half-court shot from "Shangri-la" found the bottom of the net as the final buzzer sounded. The shot came just after "Harry Rag" had scored a go-ahead basket off a pass from "Sitting In My Hotel," but it was not enough.

ROUND TWO

Photo Album
vs
(humrous take)

Somewhere Past the Corner of Loneliness and Agitation
vs
Kraptakular

People We Know (and owe)
vs
Kut & Paste

And the Very Best of Choruses Too
vs
A Change in the Weather

Round Two Results