Anymore, it seems there is not an event that is not brought to you by Company, Incorporated.   The Frito-Lay Sports Scroll.  The Aflack Traffic Update. The Plymell and Associates Matlock Marathon.

Like many other "Children of the Earth", I grow my own food, make my own clothes, ride my bike everywhere I go, and attend concerts that aren't sponsored by corporations.  So, you could imagine the height of my excitement when CD101, the grooviest, 200% independent radio station, was hosting an  OSU tailgate party with musical guests, the People's band, The League Bowlers.

The day of show, I was enjoying a hearty dollar pilsner from the  local Budweiser brewery (Think Globally. Act Locally.) when I spied, with my red eye, strippers.  Two of them. Shaking their breasts, and pretending to take off their dungarees.  They were grinding on each side of The Bowlers' frontman, Carl Rose, Jr., and, in a matter of moments, he was welcoming a new sponsor of the CD101 tailgate, Now It's Dark Magazine.

What a buzzkill. Corporate America has not only invaded my concert, but tarnished the purity of college football.  I was just about ready to go home when one of the ladies grabbed my arm and complemented my dog's bandana.

It seems that she had a dog just like mine when she was a little girl.  We talked for a while, and, as it turns out, she likes and hates the same things I do.  She said I was really funny, too.  She asked if I would donate five dollars to The Charity.  I said, "Of course."  "You're cute,"she giggled.

Then, she said she wanted her picture taken with me.  Luckily, there was someone around with a Polaroid camera.  She held me tight as the camera spit the picture out.  She gave me the picture.

"Don't you want this," I asked.

"That's your copy. I'll make a print from the negative."

"Cool."   I asked if she wanted to go to the next League Bowler show at Andyman's.  She said she's have to check with her boss, but she'd try to meet me.  Either way, she'd see me at next week's tailgate.

It's amazing.   After all these years, I still have mad skills when it comes to the ladies.

Rollin' 'em fat,
Mark Renz
Editor, High Times Magazine.

Reprinted with permission

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