| The League
Bowlers
Library Bar, Columbus, Ohio
When the tickets for The League Bowlers'
comeback show came, nobody here wanted them. Being the low woman on the totem
pole, I got the assignment.
So I went.
Like everyone else there, I went for
the only reason there is to see these washed up bastards:
the human train wreck that is Paul “Lanford” Beltz
II (bass). Would he show up?
Would he be sober enough to play?
Who cared?
Not me.
Finally roused from different corners
of the club by their manager/pharmacist, Michael Sleebo
(alleged son of Guzzy Sleebo - yet another sordid League
Bowler story), they assembled. Who cared?
Still not me.
After 5 minutes of rambling about “kicking
Myke rock’s ass,” Beltz’s mic was shut off,
and they started.
Song after song after song. Playing the shit your dad might
like if he still had the ass to get off the couch and go
see bands. Long
dead hillbillies, still moaning from beyond the grave, channeled
by a not very competent bar band.
The new front man, drummer Jim Johnson,
looked grim at both the slack musicianship and Joe Junior
Johnson’s (rhythm guitar, vocals) ogling of the female
who had accompanied Jim to the show. Carl Rose, Jr. (lead guitar, vocals) kept up his humiliating
claim to being Axle Rose’s stepbrother. After a few song’s worth
of embarrassing rock star poses, Beltz settled in against
the wall, the only thing between him and a drunken spill.
Junior Johnson carried Beltz through every song,
including not very original originals that Beltz allegedly
wrote. After a drunken plea from Rose,
Jr. for The Retreads to come back, it was over.
Not addressed – Beltz’s recent
arrest for the stalking of a local bartender/writer, Junior
Johnson’s underage dating and nepotism problems, or
Rose, Jr.’s recent arrest for vagrancy after a Dash
Rip Rock show.
You’re probably wondering why this
is a gossip column instead of a music review. It’s because these washed
up assholes are not about music.
They’re about the toll twenty years of 70’s
rockstar bullshit takes.
So, who cares?
Not me, and hopefully not you.
Reprinted with permission
back to the Bowler archive.
|
